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  • Writer's pictureMick

How Does This Thing Work?

For most of us, we don’t always get the support we need from others. Not until you speak up, something happens, or mention it does it get acknowledged. Most of the people (family, friends, etc.) around you seem to be too preoccupied about their jobs, how tired and over life they are, how they work too hard (don’t we all?) and how hard their life has become as they get older. Reason after reason to not give a damn about what you have going on, good or bad. Did they think life would get easier?! That’s adulting at its best & it only gets harder.

Back to support though. You can be doing your own thing, pursuing a hobby, a passion, and until you bring it up to someone, they won’t say a damn thing about it or even ask. What about if you are noticeably going through some shit and until you mention it, who brings it up to you? We should not have to do that every time. If people see you doing something, they should acknowledge it, at least occasionally, right? If you are going through something that’s noticeable, it should be acknowledged. Others fall short on acknowledgement too often when it comes to most of us. They are too distracted by their own bullshit or do not want to get involved in your shit.

You say to yourself, do people even notice? If they notice, do they even care? And the answer to those questions is usually either Yes then No or No for both. That is human nature, has been like that for far too long, and the quicker you accept it is the less you get let down. I get that it is easier to say that than to do it. But you are your own support system. You might have a couple good friends who prop you up, encourage you to live life, and support you in what you are doing or going through. A couple is stretching it, so I hope you have at least one who does. Even one might not seem like a lot, but one is better than none. Most people have nobody or feel like they have nobody and that’s why it’s important to develop the mindset that you are your own support system.

If you develop this mindset, you become more at peace with what you are doing, the things you are pursuing or working on, and who the fuck you are. You will become less disappointed with others who don’t show their support or care. You will learn to expect it from them and chalk it up as just that: “I expected it so how can I be so disappointed?” There is so much peace in being content. Being content that we are doing things that make us happy and living life on our own terms (as much as that’s possible). But how does being your own support system work when you are going through something, and nobody seems to notice or care?

If you are going through something, it’s hard to build a foundation within yourself to deal with that. If we feel broken, hurt, angry, or depressed, how can we be expected to prop ourselves back up? Do we have to pick ourselves up off our asses every time? Sometimes, you want someone to acknowledge it. That feels better at times rather than coping and dealing with it internally. By yourself. Internalizing it time after time can get draining, lonely, and make you feel hopeless. It’s hard to cope. It feels better sometimes having outside support and acknowledgement for internal issues. If you can do it, being your own support system inherently forces you to love yourself more. It has that effect because instead of focusing on the lack of (insert feeling) from others, you focus on yourself. You focus on building yourself up, building your mental, & being better to yourself. All three of those things (and more) are part of knowing, loving, and supporting yourself.

Editor’s input: Let’s say you are doing, working on, or getting into something. No matter how hard you try, how much you talk about it, and how passionate you are about something, other people, even people around you, will rarely ever be as passionate about something or support your passion as much as you want them to! We expect people to, but we are let down consistently. We expect them to see our passion, understand it, and share some of the same kind of passion for it that we do. Does that sound unrealistic in some respects? Sure. But, from the people closest to you, your friends, and people in your life? It’s a realistic expectation. Lastly, you know what’s weird? Sometimes, strangers will notice your passion or see what you do, support it, and acknowledge it more so than people in your orbit. It’s random but it happens. It just goes to show that usually somebody is always watching even when you think nobody is.

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