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The Original Catfish: Part 3

At this point, after reading part one and two, you have gotten to know this catfish pretty well. From what I have seen, catfishing usually does not go further than messages and stays online, unless you end up on the TV show and get a visit from Nev. For this catfish "Kelly", they have the finesse, manipulation, and strange sway to get these "straight" men to fall into the trap hook, line, and sinker. And when they find out "Kelly" is really "Ken", they still give in. Even if you do not like it, respect it, or understand it, it's pretty fucking wild to think about how it all happens and how long they have been doing it successfully. In this part of the interview, we talk specifics. You have heard about the how, why, and when of it all, but what happens when it all goes down... and what has happened?


Mick: These fuckers are mesmerized by you if they are giving you that kind of nickname. That’s insane. So, these supposedly straight, bi, or confused guys, do you fuck the guy, or do they fuck you? Top, bottom, versatile?


Kelly: I used to be versatile. But 20 years ago, I started having tests done because of an actress (ICON!) named Farrah Fawcett who had anal cancer and passed away. It made me get a test and continue to get tested because I had a fear of getting anal cancer. The first test I had, they made me get a biopsy. I’m thinking about being a bottom again because I miss it. Bottoming gets me off more.


Mick: Do you fuck gay men also? Or prefer straight men at this point?


Kelly: Both. For gay men, I have several profiles. It's funny, somebody will add my profile and then add the fake profile. When I conversate with them as myself, the straight guys complain about women on the site. Yet, when they conversate with me as a woman, it is flirtatious immediately. I’ve been talking to this guy lately on my regular profile and I talk to him as myself. He is in an open marriage and is looking for other women to play with. Yet, I talk to him on my regular profile, not my catfish profile, and am earning his confidence slowly. My point is sexuality is so fluid. Being straight or gay is a label, and my motto is: Leave your labels at the door.

I prefer straight men because they are like me, where they don’t get the attention they need. So, I can focus my attention on them, and they are grateful. You know, middle aged men are in their 40’s and peak but do not get the sex they want.

Like I said before, when I lived in Lawrenceville, it was great because there were “straight”, drunk guys looking to hook up with anyone. I hooked up with construction workers, city workers, and random neighbors. I have a lot of polaroids of these hookups as well as the current ones. One guy in Lawrenceville I met when walking my dog later had me go to his garage down the street from where I lived, and I ended up getting fucked multiple times in the garage. That guy eventually died in a garage fire in the same garage he fucked me in. Boy I miss him. He was so damn nice to me and really cared. We would talk often.

Mick: So, what about outside of Lawrenceville? Was it easy to get straight guys to hook up with you once you moved away from the city and where the bar scene was at?


Kelly: Yeah, it was not just Lawrenceville. When I lived in South Heights, my landlord hired a worker to come in and fix a problem in the house I was renting. He would walk back and forth past the living room working and I figured I would try to turn him out. So, I put on straight porn. He walked back and forth, popping his head in every now and then. I thought he actually left but then all of a sudden he came back in, and he was standing there, and no words were said but he was rubbing himself and masturbating through his pants. I started to flirt with him and even offered to blow him! But he wanted to just jack off, so we both got our cocks out and I let him jack off and he said to me, “Get on the floor and let me cum on your face”, so I did!


Before I moved to Pittsburgh, I was coming home from a gay bar one night. I passed a laundromat and saw one guy in there. I’ve watched fantasy porn about this before, so I had a lot of ideas for him. I walked in and went into the bathroom with a mirror. I stood on the ledge, took my shorts off, and started jacking off in front of the mirror. I would always go out to see what he was doing then he caught me looking more than once and disappearing back into the bathroom. The guy's curiosity was peaked, and he walked behind the other set of washers and dryers and saw me in the mirror jacking off on the ledge. He came over and stood at the bathroom door. At first, I thought this could go either way: I would either get beat up or fucked. Well, the guy told me “Don’t stop, keep going”. Then I told him to come in so we can close and lock the door. We started to kiss passionately, then he turned me around and fucked me in the ass with one leg up on that ledge. After he came, he bent down, picked me up, and we went back to kissing till I came. A couple minutes after we finished and left the bathroom more people started to come in to do their laundry. Talk about perfect timing.

Mick: You are a bold, wild motherfucker. Can’t even imagine what would have happened if you got caught by others. You talked about how your long-term partners said that you need another man to fulfill your needs because it is too much right? When it comes to your needs, do you need them fulfilled a certain number of times a day? A week? A month? Is it that bad to where it is almost an addiction?


Kelly: Well, with both long-term partners, at first the physical connection was so strong, and we would fuck wherever, whenever. The physical connection was lost over the years even when the emotional and mental connection is still there. A lack of sex and not getting it for so long leads to cheating, open relationships, and trying to get it from somewhere else. With me, it got to the point where my partners would say, “We need to find you a buddy.” I need sex multiple times a day because I feel like I thrive off sex. I laugh like a vampire when guys leave, and I think sex will keep me young. Vampires live off blood, I live off cum.



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