"These are the tales, the freaky tales, these are the tales that I tell so well" -Too Short. If it is weird, sexual, or fucked up, it has probably landed in our inbox. Here's some more tales that have been submitted to the confession line but never made it onto the page.
"I had really rough sex right before getting on the subway, and I began feeling crampy and sick in the middle of my ride. The moment I stood up to get off the line I was on and transfer to another, I let out the wettest, most foul smelling shart known to man. I think it was a silent fart, but my stomach hurt so bad my ears were ringing, so I have no idea.
I am so thankful that it was my stop and I didn't need to subject everyone around me to the smell. I doused myself in perfume before transferring onto another line and thankfully I didn't shart bad enough that it caused noticeable staining. I still probably reeked, but at least it wasn't super obvious it was me. I still felt gross."- Sky
Editor's Note: Sex had you all the way fucked up didn't it? Got on the subway and let that shit loose, literally.
"Two years ago, my wife's friend, who - at the the time - was a coworker of mine, approached me casually one day and noted that as both of our spouses were leaving town for the week that I should "come over tonight, it'll be just the two us alone, we can open a bottle of wine and just see what happens". I rejected her, but didn't immediately tell my wife as it was not the first time she did this at work. I wanted to be sure I wasn't putting out any "I would love to cheat on my wife" vibes before I potentially put anyone's friendships at risk.
A few months pass and I tell my wife, who just thinks its odd, but the longer she thinks on it, the madder she gets. The friend has just been playing it off, assuming I said nothing, and my wife has continued being a friend to her.
This week, my wife had enough. Her friend announced her daughter's wedding, texted my wife to invite us, and my wife sent a message saying essentially "No, here's what you tried to do, we are going to be discreet and not tell anyone, but please lose our numbers." The woman spent 3 days texting my wife telling her she's crazy, I'm a liar, and that we are trying to slander her. Deny, deny, deny. " -Jason
Editor's Note: Women have their own motivations and intentions just like men do. You think she's just being friendly, then one day you realize she wants to fuck.
"I like giving wet, sloppy head. My best friend gives me a bunch of good BJ tips but I had a lot of practice when I was in high school too. Every time I finish giving head now, guys tell me it was the best they’ve ever had. Today in the stairwell before my college class, I gave head to two guys at once. After I finished those guys off, I watched my best friend suck a few guys off in the stairwell too." -Lindsay
Editor's Note: I can't be mad at a girl who likes sucking dick and is good at it. The question is: Are you going to tell your future husband about these escapades when he wonders why you can suck dick so good?